The Give and Take of Christmas

Excerpted from the same title article by Dan Schaeffer, in the December issue of In Touch magazine (http://www.intouch.org/):

'At Christmas, more opportunities to do good are made available to us than at any other time of the year. So each year, charities vie for ways to help us take pleasure in giving, hitting us early and often, as they know the generous feelings don’t always last beyond December 25. For eleven months out of the year, we may be fairly apathetic to the needs of others, but at Christmas we go out of our way to be generous—and if not to strangers, then at least to the people in our lives. Have you ever wondered why?

I believe that one of the reasons is because our modern culture has drilled into us the message that the true spirit of Christmas is about giving to others. It’s not only commercially successful; it seems to work on an emotional level as well. It’s personified in the spirit of Ebenezer Scrooge, who awakens to his miserly nature just in the nick of time,...is transformed when he ends his scrimy ways and embraces the true spirit of Christmas by becoming generous, and thus a better person.

Has the real Christmas story, the entrance of God into our world, prompted this spirit of giving? In many cases, yes. But in some cases, no. Giving is certainly a wonderful way to respond to Christ’s love at Christmas, but is it the true spirit of Christmas? It’s interesting to consider that Dickens’ tale of the crusty old Ebenezer Scrooge has possibly done more to form the collective notion of what the Christmas spirit is than the biblical account of Jesus’ birth in Luke.

A Christmas Carol vs. the Christmas Story

Christmas is the chance for many of us to rescue our self-esteem—to prove the goodness of our character to ourselves as well as others. All the gifts we give at Christmas (whether given freely or under compulsion) convince us that we really are good, and even wonderful, people. Just look at how generous we are!

Let me hasten to add here that these acts of kindness are truly wonderful and I don’t wish to undermine them in any way. But it’s worth asking ourselves why we often don’t feel the same about demonstrating kindness and helping others in need throughout the rest of the year. Is the real Christmas spirit about giving? Is that the primary message of the incarnation?

John 3:16 reminds us that the incarnation was about God’s giving: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son . . .” James reminds us that “every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights” (James 1:17). See, Christmas must be about giving.

But who is doing the giving, and who is doing the receiving? The biblical account of Jesus’ entrance into our world reveals that we are the recipients of an incomparable divine gift—and the giver in the story is God, who emptied Himself to come to us and save us. We are the receivers who did nothing to deserve this tremendous gift. It’s obviously a more powerful story than that of Ebenezer Scrooge, but alas, not as easily flattering.

Dickens’ tale simply makes us feel better about ourselves. We are encouraged by the message that we, too, can become better people through generosity. "A Christmas Carol" reminds us that even the worst among us (which Ebenezer Scrooge personifies) can ultimately redeem themselves through charitable action.

...The Christmas story is not about how blessed it is to be givers, but about how essential it is to see ourselves as receivers. This strange story . . . tells us of an unimaginable gift from a stranger, a God whom we hardly even knew.

Of course, Christmas is still an appropriate time to express the love of Christ through special giving and acts of compassion. It isn’t the act we must scrutinize, but the motivation and the goal behind it: is it self-esteem that we want to cultivate this time of year, or gratitude for the grace we’ve been shown?

So, this season, as you prepare your gift-giving, focus on what you have received. Let the grace and mercy that God has lavished on you first fill your heart, and then flow through you to others. In so doing, you invite those around you to join in your grateful celebration. Allow yourself to experience the wonder and joy of gratitude in this holy season. Feel what Mary, Joseph, the shepherds, the magi, Simeon, and Anna must have felt. Remember that you can give only because you first received. Your gift of time or treasure is merely an extension of God’s gift of love to you.'